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Post College Depression

by EV

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1.
They tell the stories They make the rules First they sell you cigarettes And next they sell you Juuls And then they try to fill you in With all the sins, you see And while the little bots Begin to infiltrate your private thoughts You talk about it with a friend One day later, half past ten All these little ads begin To show how deep they go within Because they're always watching us They're always watching us They're always watching us They're always watching us Ah, watching the red lights In the skies above us That are watching us all And they know what you like And they know what you wear And they know that you care And they know what you share And they know what you fear And they know that you're here And they want to come near And now they live inside your head And they'll live there till you're dead And they'll never go away The institution's here to stay They knew we couldn't be afraid Of what we couldn't understand Those who never take control Well all they get is secondhand Everybody's gonna die Choked on a noose made of their lies And while you're weeping in the corner You just keep on asking why Because it's all just by design Because of all unpunished crimes Ignoring that this life is short We all survive on borrowed time Still they gave us death And called it liberty Wasting all our energy As little bots infect your minds Smile, cos you're on camera And they're listening in all the time Every little thing they watch Will buy another round of scotch And as the money's pouring in The idle rich indulge their sins Meanwhile, you really wanna die You think you're worth more dead than alive But all your information has a price And you gave it all up without thinking twice
2.
Don't let anybody see you praying Because when you're alone All your thoughts are clear Don't let anybody see you meditating On all the things That your heart holds most dear It ain't about material things It ain't about the TV shows It ain't about celebrities How long we have, God only knows It ain't about black or white It ain't about wrong or right It ain't even about human rights Cos we could all disappear tonight Don't let anybody see you mourning Cos when you give a smile Well it lights up the room Don't let anybody see you pouring out your grief Cos they just don't understand What you've gone through It ain't about religion It ain't about the queen It ain't about the president Or anyone you've seen It ain't about love or hate Nor an empty reason just to celebrate But drink another shot or two anyway
3.
Selfish 02:22
Who's more selfish? The citizen who doesn't vote Or the elegant politician Who really loves her new fur coat? Who's more selfish The man who steals and kills for food? Or the missionary who only wants To feed him what she thinks is truth? Who's more selfish The kid who wants a new fishing pole? Or his dad With a hole in his arm where all his money goes? Who's more selfish The kid who's got a lot of dreams? Or the teacher Who's only care is test scores and degrees? If all you want to cast is blame You cast yourself right into shame Cos heaven knows we're all the same Eye for eye Born to die Living lies And it's never ever going to change
4.
I see I'm not like nobody else After all this time just hating myself A misanthrope that wishes you well But I can't get happy I wanted to get through to your heart But it wasn't meant to work from the start My whole world pretty much fell apart But that's just living I'm feeling like there's no hope at all A camera might as well watch me fall And if I'm lucky I can hide behind walls But I know that's not living Maybe God might send me someone Maybe one day I just might have some fun Being with my love just watching the sun But that's just wishful thinking
5.
Too Much 02:42
I don't feel like talking I don't even feel like singing I gotta be alone sometimes Sometimes I feel like dreaming Sometimes the reality is just too much I guess that I'm probably just out of touch Tried so hard to fit in but it's never enough Really ain't much difference so just treat it as such Cos it's all too much I don't feel like getting up I don't feel like going out I don't really got a plan I really hope they understand Maybe we could lend a hand Maybe it's just circumstance Maybe it's another day Maybe it's another way Sometimes the reality is just too much I guess that I'm probably just out of touch Tried so hard to fit in but it's never enough Really ain't much difference so just treat it as such Cos it's all too much It's all too much It's all too much It's all too much
6.
On graduation day I told myself I wouldn't miss a thing I was so exhausted I thought I was ready to leave I thought I needed rest I told myself I'd get a job real soon I was so confident I thought I'd make some moves But 9 months later I still wasn't going anywhere I got so depressed I couldn't sleep for crippling fear Then this fucking virus Shuts down the economy Well maybe the man in the White House don't But at least I take responsibility For my own actions good and bad But sometimes I get very sad And now I gotta take a pill So I don't have to feel so bad I beat myself up way too much Trying to hard to stay in touch With people who don't care that much And I wish I wasn't just as such Such a fucking hypocrite Such a fucking lunatic I wish I wasn't self absorbed I just wanna be a better man I'm not even gonna lie At some points I wanted to die But now I know the reason why I kept pressing on in life I just wanna play my songs I don't wanna do no wrong I might make a few mistakes But the audience won't hear it as well as I can
7.
Unhappy 03:40
You don't see what you've done You're not the only one I've realized that I'm done And it's time to move on You said it's way overdue I must agree that it's true You just can't deal with the stress Blame me for why you've got less You'll remain unhappy With or without me Blame whoever you like Pretend you're always right I can't work it out I guess we're falling out But you'll remain unhappy With or without me I know perfectly well You or I can't change You know as well that you've been making mistakes Oh heaven knows you don't wanna end up estranged But neither of us knows what kind of effort this takes Will we remain unhappy? Will we remain unhappy? Will we remain unhappy?
8.
Fall In Love 02:18
He doesn't understand the meaning Or the difference between lust and love He loves his wife and kids at church And adores his mistress at the club He says he tries to be a standup guy But you know that's just another lie And he'll keep breaking everybody's heart until he dies You said you hate to fall in love You want but you hate to fall in love When he doesn't think you're good enough You're not the only one he's thinking of You said you hate to fall in love You want but you hate to fall in love When he doesn't think you're good enough You're not the only one he's thinking of You're not the only one he's thinking of Yeah
9.
She doesn't want to make up her mind She said she's just gonna take some time She makes me wonder if she's playing games She makes me feel like I could be happy I guess I'm dumb Cos I got hooked on a feeling I could be wrong But I'm still hooked on this feeling She said she's alright but she's damaged She's probably more than I can manage She's still been good to me so she matters She still might say that I can't have her I guess I'm dumb
10.
Smokin' like a freight train Think I'm going insane Guess it doesn't matter What goes on inside my brain Thinking at a constant speed Still I don't know what I need I consulted Google I saw an ad and smoked some weed Little girls with riot shields Over valleys, under hills Killed some broken people And now they're buried in the fields Flames a blowin' like a candle in the wind I don't know but it seems like we're at the bends If you think you're happy, you're really not my friend Life's a living hell and heaven till the end
11.
Till The End 02:13
Some say I got missing pieces Some say I am just a shut-in Some used to say I was a lost cause And I just play my song again I don't care about all this bullshit I could really use a friend But right now while I'm still lonesome I'll play my music till the end Some say life is just a game Rigged to where you just can't play But I could play a song for you now And you'll feel different about today We don't need all this bullshit We could really use a friend But right now while we're still lonesome We'll play our music till the end We'll play our music till the end We'll play our music till the end

about

The 5th full length LP from EV

It's an album about depression and being a young adult, I guess

credits

released March 5, 2021

All tracks composed, produced and performed by Casey Stroud

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EV Nashville, Tennessee

EV is an indie rock/pop project founded by Casey Stroud in 2016 currently based in Ashland, Kentucky

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